If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed that one of the things that I talk about with a lot of passion is the way we talk to ourselves and the internal dialogue or “self-talk” that we have going on in our minds as we go about our daily business.

You might wonder why this has been a focus…

Well, everyone has down days or moments when they don’t feel so great about life and the hand you’ve been dealt. 

But if you’re having more down days than up or if you’re noticing more moments where you’re unhappy than when you feel great, that’s probably an indication that there’s something inside you that you’ll want to look at more deeply.

And the something that you’ll want to look at is what is happening inside your mind.

You probably already know that I’m a Trainer of NLP, but you might not know what NLP actually is. 

If you don’t know, put very simply it explores the relationship between what goes on in our brains and the behaviour we produce and the emotions we feel. In short, it is the study of excellence and how thinking creates our behaviour and allows us to create behaviour of excellence! 

Sounds cool right?! 

It’s so much more than that.

There are so many connections between the way we think, feel and behave. When you change the way you think you can change the way you feel. When you change the way you feel, you change the way you behave!

Now, granted, you may very well have experienced situations and circumstances that were traumatic, devastating and have rocked your world. Trust me, I’ve been there. And the way you feel may well be valid. Not detracting from that for a single second.

However, is it the way that you want to feel?

The things we say to ourselves have such a maaassssssive impact on the way we feel.

Making some simple switches and taking responsibility for wanting to feel better and different can make a big difference. 

Now, I’m going to share something that you may not be aware of. 

What happens in our minds and the way we feel is NOT just based on the self-talk we have.

It is also based on the way our brains interpret and make sense of the world around us, which we do using something called modalities:

The pictures we make inside our heads

The sounds we hear internally 

The feelings we have

The words we say to ourselves

The smells we remember or make up

The tastes we remember or make up

There is so much that goes on in your brain that has an effect on the results that you’re seeing in your life. This is really not even the tip of the iceberg. 

There is so much more that I want to share with you about all of this but I know you’re a busy bee, just like me! I just wanted to bring into your awareness that what you are allowing to take residence in your mind is impacting on your now and your future, which is why it is so important to clear up the crap from the past so that what plays in your mind is free from mental clutter and all of the stuff keeping you stuck in the past, playing and replaying old stories that hurt and prevent you from moving forward.

One of the ways we can be in charge of how we feel is to be in charge of the thoughts we allow to remain in our minds and the inner conversations we have with ourselves. If you’re not already familiar with the 3Cs technique to help you challenge and change negative internal dialogue click here to check out this video I made and start putting it into practise.

Let me know if you have any questions in the comments below.

Until next time!


Ayódele O. Kolade