Choosing What We Know is Not Good For Us

I wonder whether you noticed this…

There will be times in our lives when we know what we should be doing, but for some reason we don’t do it.

It could be the food choices we make, the people we choose to allow into our lives – friends, romantic partners or even family members. Maybe it’s also the way we take care of ourselves, or not as the case may be.

When you notice this is happening, it’s important that you look more closely at it so that you can start making different choices.

It’s great if you do have that insight and awareness, because it will help you to take action in some way to make things different.

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge or aren’t aware of right? So it’s great that you are, because you know what that means don’t you?

That’s right, it’s being brought to your attention because at a deeper level there is some healing that needs to happen.

It’s like we can see ourselves doing it…

Or maybe we can’t see it yet, but at some point we look back and think to ourselves, “what was I doing?!” or “what was I thinking?!” only to be faced with the same or a similar situation at some point down the line.

Have you ever felt like that?

It can be so frustrating!

You might call it self-sabotaging behaviour, which may point to an internal conflict between the part of you that wants to change and do things differently…

…and the part of you that doesn’t.

It could be that there’s a part that is afraid of change, afraid to change.

These are potentially unhealed parts of us that require the most attention and love. It is a cry for your attention to pay attention to what is going on at the Unconscious level and to discover what needs to be healed so that this behaviour will change.

When you become aware of this, as most certainly you will, take some time to be still with yourself in meditation, journaling or for those of you that have worked with me and know how to communicate and tap into the Unconscious mind and just explore the problem more deeply. 

Ask yourself:

“What is there to learn about this behaviour that I need to know?” Be specific about the behaviour. 

“What am I not paying attention to that if I did would help me to change this?” Be specific about what “this” is.

In the field of transformation, and specifically NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, there are so many things that you can do to help to change that behaviour, one of the techniques I would use is a Part Integration. This is an incredibly powerful technique that is used to resolve internal conflicts at the Unconscious level.

Parts Integration is just one of many other incredible techniques and processes to help integrate the unconscious parts of us that are resisting change and instead choosing to hold onto old behaviour, even though we know it doesn’t serve us.

It is possible that some or all of these internal conflicts started as a result of trauma that has been experienced either in adulthood or more likely, in childhood.

So some food for thought today. Maybe knowing this will help you to be a bit kinder and more loving towards yourself when you notice this self-sabotaging behaviour showing up in your life and will also inspire you to sit with yourself to explore the problem more deeply… and then take action to resolve it.


Ayódele O. Kolade